2.5.09 Lovely as a Rose, Proverbs 5

"Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—don't ever quit taking delight in her body."

Proverbs 5:19


I have a picture on my desk of my wife when she was two months old. The picture serves as my reminder, that I am to care for her all of her days. The picture makes me smile and reminds me of my own daughters when they were the same age. She looks so delicate, innocent, and unaware of the hard life ahead (I chuckle). I feel very fortunate to have her in my home and together we have grown older and still appreciate each other through our years of battles, victories and celebrations, and sad moments in our lives. These days, they have been very fragrant and life has been so blessed as we watch our young children grow and explore their world. We hope they see the love and appreciation we have for each other, although it isn't all roses. There have been thorns along the way.

I wear my deceased father's wedding ring on my index finger as a reminder of the sanctity of marriage. My parents divorced when I was 22 (I am 43) and my mother gave me my father's ring a couple of years ago, several years after his death in 2003. I was shocked to know that my mother still had his ring.


"Addicted to Pornography"

Proverbs 5:20 - "Proverbs Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?"

I recently read a book "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arteburn and it challenges men to control our eyes and our heart. He referenced this constant battle that men must fight. We are visually stimulated and our tendancy is to give in. Dwelling on impropriety is a distraction. I am not going to get preachy here, but a sign of spiritual maturity is being able to dart one's eyes away from sexually oriented thoughts and visual stimulus. However, there are really few prohibitions when those thoughts are about your own wife and you and she are free to love. That is the beauty of marriage, it is relatively guilt-free.

On Mission, On Assignment, and in the ZONE!

Andy Valadez
e-mail: Andy@TeamMarketingDynamics.com

Lady Danger, Proverbs 7

"Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister,' and call understanding your kinsman; they will keep you from the wayward wife with her seductive words."

Proverbs 7:5
There must have been many wayward wives back in the day of Solomon. Just like today. Where there are wayward wives, there are wayward men. Solomon makes a point to repeatedly warn against adultery and staying away from that danger.

I was watching TBN the other day and Pat Robertson was answering guestions from the viewers. One young man asked if it was a sin to have an affair with another girl even though he wasn't married, but had a girlfriend. Pat just shook his head and said "Young man, you have many problems. Sex outside of marriage is sin."

That is a hard pill to swallow in this day and age. His lady co-host chimed in and said that the guy just showed how "unscrupulous" he was. Meaning that his integrity was tied to his sexual behavior.

If God calls sex outside of marriage a "sin" I really can't argue. I am thankful to be in a committed marriage and not having to deal with the "dating" issues of the day.


"75 Year Wedding Anniversary" Wedding Vows

Proverbs 7:25 - "Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths."

We are a soceity who believes in the "greater good". Many liberal ideologies are based on this premise, but many of the liberally minded fail to acknowledge biblical principles that truly set the "greater good". Even logic doesn't allow them to fathom the error of their decrees and beliefs. That is called a "spiritual blindness" among believers.

The notion that "abstinence" and "fidelity" strike many as "backward thinking" (not "progressive"); however, the "good" that is promoted actually causes much harm (i.e., hurtful relationships, diseases, jealousy, lower moral standards, deviancy, shallowness, etc.). I think Solomon warns us, that our "moral compass" is swayed and pulled away from the voice of God when we open up our heart to the "waywardness" of our nature.

On Mission, On Assignment, and in the ZONE!

Andy Valadez
e-mail: andy@marketingdynamics.org

The Desert, Proverbs 21

"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."

Proverbs 21:19

This is a dangerous verse for a married man. My wife and I have been married for 28 years and we do quarrel from time to time. There are moments when she may be extra quarrelsome and she knows it. A verse like this comes in handy every now and then. Timing is everything. Saying a verse like this at the wrong time and one could become homeless very fast. Fortunately, one of the things I love about my wife is that she lets me be a man and she is a student of Proverbs and knows what verses like these mean to our relationship.

My wife knows I am not perfect and that my heart is right and that I can be courageous when the moment calls for it (she wants a strong husband). In our quarrels, she is testing my resolve, my commitment, and my desire to protect her to rescue her. We have learned to work out our quarrels and achieve peace in the home.

I asked her to go at least another 28 years with me today. We are on an adventure and every now and then we may argue over which path to take, but she usually trusts me to make the right decisions for our family.


"Marriage and Divorce" with Dr. Ed Young

Proverbs 21:9 - "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

Sure beats living in a desert. I pray that quarrel is not commonplace in your home. I don't have an answer for how to workout an equilibrium with a wife who is quarrelsome. I have seen guys beat down by their lady. What are your thoughts about a quarrelsome wife? Or quarrelsome husband?

On Mission, On Assignment, and in the ZONE!

Andy Valadez
e-mail: andy@marketingdynamics.org

10.05.08 The Wife of Your Youth, Proverbs 5

First Photo Taken in May of 1981 - my then girlfriend (my wife and I)

This chapter has a special meaning, having two young daughters. There is much wisdom in the Judeo-Christian foundation called marriage (one man, one wife). The law as given by Moses was the first historic elevation of the status of women. According to one author, it gave men the freedom to focus on building civilizations for the greater good of humanity. The Jewish culture was the first ever to elevate monogamy and offered a guide for married couples.

Until then, life was basically a free for all. Sex gods were the norm of the day, infant sacrifice was accepted (they didn't have abortion back then), and orgies were celebrated. Baal worship is something that God hated and writes extensively about in the old testament. Time and again, the people fell back into this insane worship.

Proverbs 5 aims at the heart of a men, knowing that we are very susceptible to adultery.

These verses stood out to me today:

Proverbs 5:15 - "Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well."

This verse tells me to invest in my own marriage.

Proverbs 5:18 - "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth."

I often recite the last part of the verse to my wife as I kid "the wife of (my) youth". As the years click by, this verse has more significant meaning. We still remember the days of beauty and bliss. As we age, the wear and tear takes its toll, but we have our memories to fall back on and our appreciation of each other's character that gives us strength.

On Mission, On Assignment, and in the ZONE!

Andy Valadez
e-mail: andy@marketingdynamics.org